|Don’t tell me that FREE TRADE doesn’t give Americans a lot of
Come on, buddy, look at the bright side. Look at all the freedoms that Free
Trade gives you. (They don’t call it “Free Trade” for nothing, now do they?)
When Free Trade takes away your good job and gives it to a dirt-cheap Third
World worker, you’ll have a lot of free time on your hands. And you’ll be
free to look for another job! If you can’t support your family, you’re free to
blow your brains out, or maybe jump out a window. (Hey, that's America,
isn't it? You’re free to choose!)
And besides, who needs a job, anyway? What about all the perks for the
unemployed? Perhaps you can get in a soup line and get a free meal once in
a while. And don’t forget that every homeless shelter has free beds and
meals. When it comes to prices, you can’t beat free, now can you? (What
wise guy said, “There is no free lunch”? I think he ought to reconsider his
And don’t forget American corporations and Free Trade! They love Free
Trade because it gives them the freedom to close down their facilities in
America (and the freedom to throw your rear end right out onto the
sidewalk!). Then they're free to put their factories in China, Vietnam and
Indonesia. There, they’re free to use slave labor to manufacture their
products, paying salaries ranging from 35¢ to 50¢ an hour. (Those workers
aren't exactly working for free, are they? But it’s pretty darned close.)
And then comes the best part for corporations. They get to bring in their el-
cheapo products, made by slave labor, into America free of any burdensome
tariffs and quotas. It's all because of that wonderful World Trade
Organization (WTO). In fact, under the WTO, their products can travel
around the world freely, free of any national quotas or tariffs. Ain’t that
great? Your heart’s gotta go out to those corporate types.
Now, look. Let's go back to Asia, okay? It's true that slave labor doesn’t
sound very free, does it? But let's be fair. Up in northern China, those
Chinese slave laborers are free to quit any time they want, and then free to
freeze to death in any snowdrift they choose!
And think about the freedom that Free Trade gives China! Look, they’re
becoming the world’s superpower, and they don’t have to lift a finger to do
it. American corporations are doing it all for them, tearing down America's
factories and building new ones in China to replace them!
And in the end, China is free to nationalize all our factories anytime it
And then shoot the American executives who built them there.
Wow, what a deal! Ain't Free Trade great?
|SURE, FREE TRADE
IS DESTROYING OUR COUNTRY
AND TAKING YOUR JOB,
BUT IT HAS A FUNNY SIDE!